


Dungeons And The Thing

by westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist



Category: The West Wing
Genre: Humor, Original Character - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2000-11-24
Updated: 2000-11-24
Packaged: 2019-05-15 01:26:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,654
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14781017
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist/pseuds/westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist
Summary: It'll give it away.





	Dungeons And The Thing

**Author's Note:**

> A copy of this work was once archived at National Library, a part of the [ West Wing Fanfiction Central](https://fanlore.org/wiki/West_Wing_Fanfiction_Central), a West Wing fanfiction archive. More information about the Open Doors approved archive move can be found in the [announcement post](http://archiveofourown.org/admin_posts/8325).

Title: Dungeons and the Thing 

Disclaimer: Don't own. Never will. 

Summary: It'll give it away. 

Warnings/Spoilers: Ummm......None that I can think of. 

Archiving: Yes, as long as you tell me where. 

Notes: Mary Sue Character ahead. Full Engines reverse. Sisters and laptops were almost killed in the making of this story. Feedback required to heal the wounds.

 

Dungeons and the Thing 

By Alison and Nina Cherry

"DONNA!" Josh yelled from behind his desk, his face scrunched up in disgust.

"Josh, what have I told you about yelling at me?"

"Donna. I don't have time for this. Go down to Ainsley's office and get me the thing."

"What thing?"

"The thing. The thing." He stopped and looked at Donna. "Just go do it. She'll know."

"What thing?"

"The thing, Donna. Just go."

She sighed dramatically. "But Josh, it's dark down there."

"Donna."

"Its hot." She whined. "And humid. The humidity isn't good for my alabaster skin."

"Donna. I need the thing."

"But it's like twelve flights of stairs."

"Then you won't have to go to the Gym today."

"But Josh."

Sam poked his head into the room. "Hey, you have the thing, yet."

"Sam, why don't you go down to Ainsley's office and get the thing?" Donna looked at him hopefully.

Sam looked slightly scared. "I can't."

"Why not." Donna whined.

"Well cause..."

"Sam's afraid of spiders." Josh supplied with a sigh.

"Can't handle them. I think I'm allergic." Sam put his hands on hips trying to look more manly.

"There are spiders? JOSH!"

"Donna. Go."

"You're going to regret this. I'm going to die and then who will bring you coffee." Donna swept out of the room dramatically.

"You don't bring me coffee." Josh yelled after her.

"Cathy ate my doughnut this morning." Sam put in helpfully.

"What?" Josh asked genuinely confused.

"I'm just saying cause I feel for you and the whole coffee thing." Sam said.

"What the hell are you doing here again?" Josh asked.

"I'm leaving."

"Go."

"So you'll call me when you get the thing?"

"Yeah."

"My assistant at Gage Whitney never ate my doughnut." Sam looked thoughtful. "She brought me coffee too."

"Sam, what are you doing in my office?"

"Right. I'm leaving." Sam stayed where he was.

"Sam?"

Sam took off at a run. "Toby! I got it. I got it."

"Whatever." Taking a seat at his desk, Josh picked up a memo on East Asia, a few minutes later his eye caught a glimpse of blonde.

"Did you get it?" Josh yelled.

"What the hell are you yelling about?" Came the response.

"Did you get the thing?"

"What thing?"

"The thing I sent you after."

"When?"

"You mean you haven't gone yet!"

"Where?"

"To Ainsley office."

"Who?"

"Ainsley. Go."

"Is that a real a name?"

"Yes, you've met her a few times. Now go."

"Okay." She turned her back looking confused.

Josh looked back at his empty doorway. "Were you wearing that a few minutes ago?" Josh yelled.

@@

Donna peered down the small staircase. The busy hallway confused her and she looked at the map in her hand.

"Excuse me?" She asked a staffer politely. "Is this the way to Ainsley Hayes's office?"

"Who?"

"Ainsley?"

The man walked away without answering her.

"Okay." She shouted after the man. "Thank you so much for your help." Donna started walking down the hall looking for the next flight of stairs. "Josh, this is going to cost you more than a pair of shoes."

@@

Toby intercepted her as she was walking down the hallway. "Hey."

"Yeah."

"Tell Josh, Sam has the thing." Toby sneered.

"So I don't have to go to Ainsley's office?"

"Not that thing. The other thing." Toby walked away.

"What thing?" She yelled after him.

He turned to look at her quizzically. "Do you think that's appropriate attire for work?" He asked and the turned to head back into his office, as she looked down at her overalls.

@@

Donna looked left and right. "Was I supposed to turn left here?" She asked herself. She turned to look back at the silent hallway. "Or was it right?"

@@

"Oh hey, Donna." Leo called out to the blonde passing by his doorway. The blonde peeked her head back inside the office. "Tell Josh the President wants him at the East Asia briefing at three."

"Okay."

"Remind him."

"Okay."

Leo looked back down at the file he was reading. "Hey Donna. Are you off today?"

"Yeah I'm on vacation today."

"Oh well. Tell Josh will you?"

"Yeah."

"Good girl."

"Did they tell you that Sam has the thing?"

Leo looked happy. "Yeah. That was good work."

"Okay."

@@

Opening Ainsley's office door she peeked her head into the darkened room. "Dammit Josh!"

@@

Sam smiled at the blonde by the coffee pot. "Hey Donna. What are you doing?"

"Hi. I'm getting Josh a cup of coffee."

Sam looked confused. "Since when. Do you know something I don't know?" Sam asked worriedly.

"No, why?"

"Cause." Sam whimpered. "You only take Josh coffee when he's about to get fired."

"Oh." She looked at the coffee pot in her hand. "So taking him a cup of coffee would be bad."

"Extremely."

"So if I give him this coffee, he'll what?" She asked evilly.

"Lets not go there. I've seen Josh cry. It's never a pretty sight." Sam smiled at her.

"Oh, okay."

@@

Donna looked at the next set of looming stairs. "I hate you Josh, I hate you. I'm poisoning your coffee that I'm not going to bring you." Donna muttered softly as she took a deep breath and placed her foot on the first stair.

@@

"So." Sam asked as he poured a cup of coffee. "Did you get the thing from Ainsley?"

"What's this thing everyone keeps asking about?" She asked.

Carol walked up to the pair and handed the Blonde a card in an envelope. "Hey, Donna. Ainsley told CJ to tell Josh that here's the thing."

"Huh?" She looked at the card in her hand. "This is the thing?" She asked Sam as Carol walked away.

"Yeah." Sam grabbed the card from her hand and headed toward her desk. "Yeah."

"This is the thing, everyone is talking about?" She asked.

Sam grabbed a pen and signed the inside. He handed it back to the Blonde.

"Tell Josh I don't need to see the thing anymore." He walked away from her.

"Did you hear about Sam getting the thing?" Donna by the desk said as Sam saw another Donna entering the room by the coffee pot.

"JOSHUA!" Sam and Donna cried together.

The bullpen stopped as they heard a thump and a crash coming from Josh's office. A few seconds later Josh appeared in the doorway. "Dammit, Donna, that's the second lamp this mon-" Josh trailed off as he looked at the two Donna's now standing side by side.

He shook his head as he stared at them. "Would someone tell me what the *hell* is going on here?"

Sam smiled helpfully. "Attention Kmart shoppers, there is a blue light special on Donnas. You get two Donnas for the price of one."

"Don't you have somewhere to be?" Josh asked him.

Sam smiled. "Nope. This is too interesting."

Margaret smiled as she walked toward the group. "Hello Marysue. I heard you were in the building."

Josh looked at the two women. "DONNA!"

The Donna in a dress stepped forward. "Marysue, I'd like you to meet my soon to be deceased boss Josh."

"Your twins." Sam grinned, crossing his arms. "That's very cool."

"Wait, wait, wait." Josh looked back and forth between the two. "You're a twin, there's two of you. And her name is Marysue?"

"Keep your voice down, Joshua." Donna told him.

"Did your parents hate you? First Donnatella, and then Marysue." Josh turned around and headed for his desk. Donna and Marysue followed him.

"Actually, I was first." Marysue said matter of factly.

"Of course." Josh sighed.

"We're actually very different, Josh." Donna said.

"I'm a republican." Marysue offered.

"And she married this total dork. Something I plan not to do."

"He wasn't a dork, he was my high school sweetheart." Marysue tossed her hair. "Unlike all those losers you date."

Donna looked affronted. "I don't date losers. I have a very good sense when it comes to men. And trust me, Donald is a loser."

"Why, because he takes care of me and makes enough for me to stay home with the kids?" Marysue countered.

"Oh just bring up the fact that you're the one that provided mom with grandkids."

Josh looked up at the two of them. "Would one of you shut up and get me an aspirin?" He demanded.

"Of course." Marysue moved to leave the office.

"Hey. He's my boss I'll get him the aspirin." Donna yelled at her sister. She looked at Josh, "Get your own aspirin, Josh."

"No wonder you can't hold on to a man." Marysue countered.

"He isn't a man, he's Josh."

"Speaking of which, Josh," Marysue looked at him. "Some guy with no hair except a beard said that Sam got the thing. The old guy with white hair said the President would like you to attend the East Asia briefing at three and some woman with dark hair said that Ainsley gave this to CJ to give to you and the cute guy with the gorgeous eyes said that he doesn't need the thing anymore." Marysue handed over the card that Sam had signed. She looked at Donna. "Somebody really named their kid Ainsley?"

Donna nodded her head as she led the way out of Josh's office. "Yes and she looks just like us."

"Like the world needs another Donnatella Moss." Josh called after them. "Man I'm never sleeping at my desk again. I'll start seeing three of them."

Josh laid his head down on his desk, listening to the sound of two Donna's bickering with each other.

 

The End.....

 

  

  


End file.
